The sex toy industry is a 15 billion-dollar enterprise with a 30 percent growth rate. There are a lot of new products on the market. One such product penetrated our inbox last night. It is called Whiskey Dick. As per the release, “EpicMealTime’s whiskeylube is water based, hand crafted and proudly Made in America. The gold standard of booze-flavored massage oils, it’s aged four years in white oak casks and guarantees a velvety-smooth finish.” Whiskeylube, it occurs to me, doesn’t seem like an idea that popped up while a bunch of lady-friends were sitting around their book club, drinking chard and discussing Little House on the Prarie. “Fuck, girls,” said Larissa, “I want to get fucked with a dick that stinks like alcohol.” “I hear ya, sister,” replied Clara, “but it has got to be aged four years in white oak casks.” (Clearly I haven’t been invited to any book clubs since I was eight years old.) But don’t most sexual aids and/or practices begin in the mind of a clueless man? The answer is yes. We’ve chosen some of the most obvious.
