I spent a lot of time during the summer between my seventh and eighth grade years sleeping until 3PM and staying up until four or five in the morning watching trashy television. My favorite, obviously, was The Ricki Lake Show. This was back in the innocent days of the mid- to late-’90s, when the most frequent topic of day-time television was not, “I’ve Got a Secret: I Slept With Your Man!” or “I Don’t Know Which of These Six Guys Is the Father of My Baby!” Instead, Ricki would bring on super-hot people (a relative term) who would confront their childhood bullies who made their high school days a living hell. “I used to be scrawny and nerdy, but look at my muuuuuussssscles!” they’d shout at their former tormenters, who sat in a state of awe, embarrassment, and sexual frustration. “That will be me someday,” I thought.