Mom:  I was cleaning out Grandmommie’s dresser today and found a lot of funny stuff.

Me:  Like what?

Mom:  Well, there was a “Declaration of Independence” in which you stated that you were independent from me.

Me:  Hmm. I don’t remember that one. Were there any reasons?

Mom:  Oh, no, just that I was a terrible mother, THE USUAL.

Me:  What’d you do with it?

Mom:  I threw it in the trash.