How To Be a Twentysomething Who Gives Advice To All Other Twentysomethings
Be unswervingly wrong about everything you say. Take a contrary position on the most commonsensical wisdom and do it forecefully, so that the other docile, more thoughtful twentysomethings are jolted by your confidence in what appears, to them, to be vaguely spiritual platitudes at best and suggestions of self-destruction at worst. It also helps if you never let them speak.
This is perfect.