Tyler Coates

27 notes

I was in a focus group in Chicago once, and I am pretty sure I have been banned from that company’s focus groups because I hated the product so much that they stopped asking me questions. So with that in mind, here is your Daily Daily Hookup Parsing.
Did you know there were so many ways to wear pants? Well, there are at least three! I am untucked and rolled today, if you must know.
Here’s a thing I learned today: the cut of your pant leg determines your masculinity. Should I not have turned my boot cut jeans into jorts this year? I guess I really fagged them up; I had no idea that boot cut meant “macho,” - I just thought it meant “2004.”
Do you get the joke in the third line? I think it’s referring to drag queens tucking themselves into dance belts to hide their junk? I think? I can’t figure it out, because I don’t know a lot of drag queens who wear chinos.
Also, this is really The Weekly Hookup, right? Because they advertise the same deal all week. It’s like if Gwyneth send you the same GOOP email every fucking day of the week.

I was in a focus group in Chicago once, and I am pretty sure I have been banned from that company’s focus groups because I hated the product so much that they stopped asking me questions. So with that in mind, here is your Daily Daily Hookup Parsing.

Did you know there were so many ways to wear pants? Well, there are at least three! I am untucked and rolled today, if you must know.

Here’s a thing I learned today: the cut of your pant leg determines your masculinity. Should I not have turned my boot cut jeans into jorts this year? I guess I really fagged them up; I had no idea that boot cut meant “macho,” - I just thought it meant “2004.”

Do you get the joke in the third line? I think it’s referring to drag queens tucking themselves into dance belts to hide their junk? I think? I can’t figure it out, because I don’t know a lot of drag queens who wear chinos.

Also, this is really The Weekly Hookup, right? Because they advertise the same deal all week. It’s like if Gwyneth send you the same GOOP email every fucking day of the week.

Filed under The Daily Hookup gay stuff

  1. indiahayes reblogged this from tylercoates and added:
    at least i can always count on tyler coates to make me laugh hysterically
  2. bennettmadison said: also i have tried to unsubscribe from this a few times and the emails keep coming
  3. terisaurus reblogged this from tylercoates and added:
    Preach!
  4. stevespillman said: “tuck” joke. “buy you dinner” joke. “straight” joke.
  5. therichgirlsareweeping said: I’m pretty sure a drag queen in chinos in a sign of the apocalypse.
  6. bobbyfinger said: He looks happiest rolled!
  7. tylercoates posted this